Daddy Dear

Dad was arrested in 1954 along with Gary’s father Louis Kelsch.  Louis simply pled guilty as charged and took the wrap.  Dad wanted to fight it in court to put the state on notice that they were breaking constitutional law.  He had many friends who offered financial support to help him win the case.  After four years of fighting it, he lost the case and was sentenced to five years in prison for bigamy.  He was satisfied that his point was made.  

The Five Sisters

It was devastating to the family when Dad was sent to the state penitentiary.  I was nine.  He picked me up, set me on the counter, and made it clear to me that I was the oldest of the five little ones in the family, and that it was my responsibility to help mother take care of my younger sisters, to keep them safe, and help them do the right thing. I made up the story internally that if anything went wrong, I wasn’t doing my job and I would disappoint my Dad, again.  I also made up the story, as a nine year old that whatever needed to be done, it was up to me to make it happen.  If a war broke out between my little sisters or anyone got hurt, it was my fault.  My immature mind felt overwhelmed with the responsibility and I took it very literally.

He explained to me why he had to go away for a long time.  The judge wanted him to call Mother his mistress instead of his wife.  He made it very clear that he refused to have any of his children labeled as bastards.  He proudly claimed each of his wives and children as his family, and was willing to pay the price society and the law demanded.  He made sure to answer every letter I wrote, and make our visit with him very special.  I was proud of my Dad.  He was my hero.  

Albert, Kate, Vio & Maurine 1959

The day before he was scheduled to go to prison, he spent the whole day with all three wives.  That evening he took them and all the children who were not married out to a restaurant called Nolgrens.  He proudly introduced all his wives and children to the waitress.  I felt treasured by him. 

I dare to be committed to maintaining my own boundaries, and love to respect the boundaries of others.